The State of Sex Ed in Our Country

October 26, 2010 at 2:40 pm 3 comments

Actual conversation, transcribed word-for-word. This is one of those moments that I probably should have stopped before it really began, but allowed to continue in the selfish interest of my own entertainment. Hey, I’m only human.

I was sitting at my desk entering in quiz grades for a few minutes while the class worked on an in-class creative project. The group nearest me had tangented from discussing the members of the Finch family to their own desires for eventual children.

Girl Student #1: I want two boys and a girl.

Boy Student: I can either have boys or girls, not both.

Girl Student #1: Why?

Boy Student: Because only one of my balls works. [Gestures to affected region.] I had surgery.

[At this juncture, my battle to maintain a straight face commences. It’s too good to interrupt.]

Girl Student #2: Really?!

Boy Student: Yep, and now I can only have either boys or girls, but I don’t know which yet.

[I begin to lose it. The girls at his table notice that I’m eavesdropping.]

Girl Student #2: Ha ha, Mrs. Bees is listening to you.

Me: I’m trying not to. I really am.

Boy Student: [To me] Yep, the ole babymaker doesn’t work. 

Me: That’s… not going to affect the gender of your eventual children.

Boy Student: Yeah huh.

Me: No, it really isn’t.

Boy Student: Well, that’s what I was told. One ball makes boys and one makes girls.

Me: That’s, uhm, untrue. Each, er, side has an equal chance of transmitting male or female chromosomes.

Boy Student: Really? Well, I hope I don’t have a girl. If I have a girl, I’ll be pissed.

Me: Oh, if you had a girl you’d love her to death.

Boy Student: If I have a girl, I’m going to adopt a little black boy.

They do not pay me enough for this.

(It’s probably important to understand that “Boy Student” is a kid who wants to seem more mature and tough than he really is; he’s had trouble with the law and makes short-lived attempts to straighten up, one of which he is, half-heartedly, in now. This is a sophomore who has homemade tattoo/scarification on both biceps and wa suspended for stealing a car and flipping it on school property, yet still seems more like something out of The Outsiders or Happy Days than an actual bad seed. You know the type.)



Game Time! Catching Up

3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. OKP  |  October 26, 2010 at 8:24 pm

    “The ol’ babymaker doesn’t work.”?

    Howling. I tell you. Hilarious. Can’t believe you even kept it together.

  • 2. Rachel  |  October 27, 2010 at 9:23 am

    HA! I think I scared my cat off the desk with this one. Hilarious! I am definitely recommending this for the “Teenagers Are Ridiculous” blog.

  • 3. M  |  October 27, 2010 at 10:40 am

    Rachel recommended your site to me and she’s right, you’re hilarious! I’d love to repost this on my blog if you don’t mind. I’m looking forward to going back through your archives and reading all your posts!


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The Bee’s Knees

This is the teaching journal of a student first-year second-year THIRD-YEAR (!!!) English teacher. I am writing this blog as a reflection for myself, a way to keep friends and family updated, and a sharing-ground between other educators online. I love comments!

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