Flat

March 24, 2010 at 3:42 pm 5 comments

Well, I didn’t get in.

This is a pancake layer of disappointment on top of so many other layers. I am positively stratified with disappointment.

No Writing Project for me, I guess! It’s too bad, really. I would have been a really good addition. They really could have used me. I have expertise that they want, and passion that they want. I know that they are banking on me applying next year. I suppose I will. But I wonder if they know that they are gambling on the possibility that someone will even be a teacher the following year? What if the one thing helping you hang on through that rough patch – that “most teachers quit the profession within their first three years” patch – was the thought of joining this community, and then they reject you?

As it turns out, I am not very good at being rejected. In all honesty, I haven’t had much experience at it. I guess it was just my turn.

On top of that, I don’t know what this does to my MA, other than screw it all the hell up. I’m on a strict three-semester schedule, and now that six of my credits have gone up in smoke…

God, but this has been a week. Or a fortnight. I don’t even know how long things are lasting. Parent-teacher conferences tonight, all day tomorrow, and tomorrow evening. Grading essays like a madwoman up to the very end. Having to file for an extension on my own schoolwork. Mr. Bees lost his job. My allergies have kicked in, and the inside of my mouth is lined with stress-induced cold sores. Some, er, personal plans of mine are being sidelined due to schoolwork and conferences. Friends and family members raising my blood pressure over politics. I’m feeling flatter and flatter. How flat, you ask? The only thing getting me to and from work every day is my eponymous Third Eye Blind CD, blasted at top volume. Talk about angsty teenage flashback.

Okay. I have 20 minutes until dinner, and conferences start in 80 minutes. Got to clear off my desk, brush my hair, and load up the laptop. Ready… break.

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Entry filed under: BAD DAY, BEING A STUDENT, MR. BEES.

Rage and Redemption Reality Check

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. OKP  |  March 24, 2010 at 5:55 pm

    I’m so sorry about the NWP…well, about all of it actually. But I know you wanted to be rejuvenated, and now you have to find a different way. I trust something good will come after this fortnight of flameout.

    I’m sending positive thoughts in the geographical direction of this blog — wherever that is!

    Reply
  • 2. everydayjae  |  March 24, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Bummer is probably an understatement here. I thought about applying for the NWP, but decided against it for this year. I already have to add another endorsement over the summer to keep my job. That is, if I get to keep it. Still not sure yet. On the up side, maybe we would both get accepted next year and could meet up!

    I hope the days get better. It’s getting close to the end of the year. Find a place in the sunshine and stay there! I’ll send good thoughts your way. 🙂

    Reply
  • 3. Rachel  |  March 24, 2010 at 7:39 pm

    Sorry to hear that things are so rough right now. I hope you find some comfort and encouragement to carry you through right now.

    Reply
  • 4. Alycia  |  March 25, 2010 at 1:59 am

    That’s shite. Sorry to read it.
    Hope you find something to unflatten you.

    Reply
  • 5. Kit  |  March 26, 2010 at 10:31 am

    I’m so sorry. I know you would have been perfect for them and it is their loss. I’m sending all my hot air your way in hopes it will help inflate you. You have dozens of people who love and adore you so rely on them to get you through the next few weeks. Great things are coming your way. I can feel it.

    Reply

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The Bee’s Knees

This is the teaching journal of a student first-year second-year THIRD-YEAR (!!!) English teacher. I am writing this blog as a reflection for myself, a way to keep friends and family updated, and a sharing-ground between other educators online. I love comments!

I am striving to maintain anonymity on this blog so that I may more freely interact with my fellow edubloggers. If you know who I am, please help me protect my anonymity in your comments. I use pseudonyms or initials for everyone I write about to preserve their anonymity as well.




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