Nice Underpants, Dahlink

November 18, 2008 at 12:22 am 2 comments

It is way funnier to be catty about crazy substitute teachers than it is to be catty about people you actually know and kind of like.

So, this morning I walked into the faculty lounge, and Natasha was digging around in the crisper drawers of the refrigerator.


She appeared to be six feet tall, about 80 pounds, and about twenty years old. She was wearing all black, except for her blue substitute badge; however, there was only one important part of her wardrobe at this particular moment. Imagine what you look like if you were bending over to dig through the bottom drawer of a refrigerator. Picture it… picture it… yes, that’s correct. Now picture that same posture, only the butt waving in the air is exposing about 6-8 inches of black satin thong to the entire faculty lounge – and, through the open door, the middle school hallways.

(It didn’t occur to me until later that it was a little odd for a substitute to be digging around in the refrigerator. What in the world was she after?)

A few minutes later, I walked back from the copy machine to find Natasha still digging through cupboards. “Can I help you find something?” I asked.

“Yeah, do you have any coffee cups?” she asked, and I swear I wasn’t imagining the faint Russian accent in her voice.

“No,” I replied, not untruthfully or unsympathetically. “We’re out of disposable cups. I’m sorry.” Plus, we all pay every month for coffee, which it clearly says on the machine. I mean, ordinarily I wouldn’t begrudge a sub a cup of coffee, but that looked like a really expensive strap of fabric up your backside, so I’m guessing you could have brought your own….

“Oh,” Natasha said, and opened a cupboard above the coffee machine. “I’ll just use this one, then.” And she pulled out someone’s coffee mug, filled it up, and left the lounge while I stood there wondering how best to pick up my jaw off the floor.

Wow. Wow.

I am TOTALLY requesting her next time I need a sub.


Entry filed under: FUN STUFF, TALES FROM SCHOOL.

An Epigram If seventh graders wrote the Inaugural Address

2 Comments Add your own

  • 1. madhousewife  |  November 21, 2008 at 5:26 pm

    No kidding. Who wouldn’t?

  • 2. Clix  |  December 19, 2008 at 12:18 pm

    *peek* Just wondering how things are going!


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The Bee’s Knees

This is the teaching journal of a student first-year second-year THIRD-YEAR (!!!) English teacher. I am writing this blog as a reflection for myself, a way to keep friends and family updated, and a sharing-ground between other educators online. I love comments!

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